Let’s make this the year of being present!

First, let me start by wishing you a Happy New Year - I’m confident that it’s going to be a great one.

It’s tempting to make New Year’s resolutions and plan what you’re going to do for the next 365 days, but I’ve never found that to be helpful.

I like making my resolutions each and every day. It’s how I stay in the present moment.

In order to be present, you need to step out of your past and you need to not go into your future.

When I talk about the past, I’m not referring to two decades ago - I mean two hours or even two minutes ago.

And that starts by making deliberate moments of space between activities.

Let’s say you have a frustrating business meeting or call. If you carry that emotion into your next meeting, the outcome will be terrible. So you need to close the prior interaction and start your next one with a clean slate.

Simply say to yourself: “I’m going to be present with Susan.” Those seven words will make a world of difference.

Likewise, if you’re thinking about what you’re going to have for dinner that night or a report you need to finish, you’ll be in the future, not the present.

It might sound a little corny, but the only dimension you should be in is the present. And when you find yourself slipping - we all do - take a moment to reset your mind.

People feel the difference.

Oftentimes when we have dialogues, we think we know what the other person is going to say. So we actually stop listening fully. “Oh, John is going to complain again about the sales team. I know where this is going…”

But I try to listen in a different way, which is paying attention to every single word and registering it deeply. Then I start hearing something else - I pick up on the nuances, which words you emphasize and which ones you rush past.

It’s also important to be comfortable with silence. When I worked for Toyota, I learned that my Japanese colleagues were willing to let long moments of silence pass, something which would drive my American team members nuts.

We need silence. If you’re talking and I’m formulating my response to what you’re saying at the same time, how can I really be listening? You need those moments of silence to craft a thoughtful reply.

The calmness and confidence you portray by being silent is palpable. It’s tough for entrepreneurs - I get it. We have so many ideas that are bubbling inside our heads that we want to get out - but sometimes the excitement overwhelms the message.

I’ve been told I have an intensity in conversations - and it’s a good intensity. People feel my calm, my focus and my absolute presence. They feel more at ease because they know I’m there.

As a coach, it allows my clients to completely give themselves to me, because they know I’m ready to receive them.

Here’s a simple trick to allow yourself that space - don’t permit back-to-back meetings. Make your meetings either 25 or 50 minutes long. And begin and end them on time. Not only will it give you a chance to reset, but it shows a respect for the people in your organization.

Enjoy the present and thanks for reading.

Peter