I got sick, and no one saw it coming

When I got sick in 2019, it should have been apparent to everyone around me that I was headed for the fall.

Except it wasn’t.

On the outside, I was in control and ‘happy,’ executing and managing as the CEO of a company with 70 employees across five countries. We had raised millions and had traction with our service.

Yes, I had used phrases like, " It feels like I am the pilot of this plane, but hanging on the wing, looking into the empty cockpit” in board discussions of our speed and spending.

Yes, I had been on two international trips weekly for the previous year.

Yes, I was managing at home despite not feeling present.

Then it all came tumbling down:

I got sick, got fired, and got divorced.

I felt like a loser in life.

Looking back, there were plenty of signs:

I became short with people

I missed appointments

I forgot my values

I didn’t sleep

I was sad

But no one forced me to stop, reflect, and change. Least of all, myself.

When my board fired me during my sick leave, I was relieved and felt free.

In hindsight, it had never been the proper structure and setup for building a fast-moving company. Politics and personalities prevented us from doing what we needed to do. I was stubborn and pushed through, even though I shouldn’t have.

The failure of my marriage will always be something I have to carry with me. Thankfully, we have a great partnership around our son, and my ex and I are much happier in our new lives than we were together.

In hindsight, getting sick was the best thing to happen to me.

Without that catalyst, I could not help so many people get as better as I do today. I am thankful for that.

If you or someone you know have some of the signs mentioned here, do something!

Get help for yourself or force the people you see living this life to stop, reflect and course correct.

My story ended well; countless others haven’t - make sure yours is not one of them.

Peter

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