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October 19, 2023

Breaking Bad… Habits

Bad habits are an albatross.

They hang around our necks like something shameful that will be there forever.

In my work with CEOs, discussing their bad habits is something we do early in the relationship.

It’s never an easy conversation. Nobody likes talking about it, partially because it’s assumed that people in positions of power and leadership have managed to eradicate all bad habits from their lives.

Wrong.

One only needs to look at politicians to see that bad habits are rampant… and eventually they lead to the downfall of many of them.

Let’s start with understanding why we have bad habits. It's important to know the underlying reasons behind our bad habits in order to effectively address and overcome them:

  • Reinforcement: Certain habits can provide immediate rewards or relief from discomfort. For example, smoking may temporarily alleviate stress or anxiety.
  • Coping mechanisms: Some bad habits develop as coping mechanisms for dealing with difficult emotions or situations. For instance, emotional eating may provide comfort during times of stress or sadness.
  • Habit formation: Habits often develop through repetition and reinforcement. When a behavior is repeated consistently, it becomes ingrained in our routine and can be challenging to break.
  • Emotional triggers: Negative emotions such as stress, boredom, or frustration can trigger the development or continuation of bad habits. Engaging in these habits may provide temporary relief or distraction from the underlying emotions.

But by identifying the triggers, finding healthier alternatives, and developing self-awareness, we can work towards breaking these habits and adopting more positive behaviors.

It won’t happen overnight. It’s estimated that it takes around 66 days for habits to change and stick.

A little over two months. Totally do-able.

You can shed artificial constraints and renegotiate your reality. It just takes practice.

Here are four ways I have found reality effective in helping clients - and myself! - break bad habits:

  • Identify triggers and replace them: Pay attention to the cues or situations that trigger your bad habit. Once you identify them, you can be on the path to breaking them.
  • Practice mindfulness: Develop self-awareness and mindfulness about your habit. Pay attention to the thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations associated with it. Changing the narrative in your head is critical.
  • Find healthier alternatives: Replace the bad habit with a positive and healthier behavior. For example, if you want to reduce excessive screen time, find alternative activities like exercising, reading, or spending time with loved ones.
  • Practice self-compassion: Breaking a bad habit takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and practice self-compassion. If you slip up or have setbacks, acknowledge them as part of the process and refocus on your goals.

Remember, breaking a habit is a journey, and it may take time. Stay committed, stay positive, and believe in your ability to make positive changes in your life.